A Raging Clue
by shazzbot
Summary: What will happen when Agent Dale Cooper has to protect Steve and Blue! Twin Peaks Blues Clues crossover! M/M Slash, Swearing.


A Raging Clue

Agent Dale Cooper awoke on a rainy Monday morning. He reached for his tape recorder and began to record his daily message to Diane. "Diane, Its 6:45. Today, I feel like I will encounter something greater than myself. I had a dream last night, I was smoking a cigarette in a bar and I talked to a giant blue dog. He spoke in Morse code." He clicked the stop button and placed it on the table. Cooper got dressed and headed to the Twin Peaks sheriffs department to work on the case he had been trying to crack for months, "Who is Bob? And why was he after Laura Palmer?" He went inside to be welcomed by Lucy and, of course, a tray of donuts and a cup of coffee.

"Morning Agent Cooper. " Lucy said to Cooper while he was shoving a donut in his face.

"Morning Lucy, This coffee is damn good" Cooper was talking with mouth full and replied in a sort of mumble, which it made it hard for Lucy to hear him.

"Agent Cooper, you shouldn't talk with your mouth full"

"No time, Lucy! I've got an important message from Officer Gordon." Cooper headed to Deputy Harry S. Truman's office and took a seat.

"Ahh, Cooper. Looks like their bringing in a new witness into Twin Peaks, and your going to be the one protecting him." Cooper's face went from a smile to a frown as Harry read the letter.

"Harry, I can't protect anyone. Not after Caroline..." Cooper stated frantically.

"AGENT COOPER, YOU'LL BE FINE. I PROMISE" The two men turned around to see that Officer Gordon was in the door way. "I HAD A FEELING YOU WOULDN'T TAKE THE NEWS WELL, SO I THOUGHT THAT I SHOULD CLARIFY SOME THINGS!" Agent Gordon shouted due to his hearing condition.

"WELL SIR, THATS VERY CONSIDERATE OF YOU." Cooper shouted back.

"Maybe you two should talk in the conference room, to have some...ah, privacy" Harry suggested.

"MAYBE WE SHOULD GO IN THE CONFRENCE ROOM TO TALK." Gordon repeated to Cooper, except louder. Cooper gave Gordon the thumbs up and walked to the conference room and shut the door.

"WHO IS IT THAT I'M SUPPOSE TO PROTECT?" Agent Cooper asked

"YOU'LL BE LOOKING AFTER SOME FELLOW WITH A DOG. HIS NAME IS STEVE. APPERENTLY HE HAS A BLUE DOG. HOW ABOUT THAT!"

"THAT IS ODD, SIR. WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH THE CASE?"

"HE WAS A PART OF LAURA PALMER'S MEALS ON WEELS ROUTE FOR A WHILE. HE LEFT TWIN PEAKS AFTER HER DEATH AND WE BELIEVE THAT HE COULD BE A KEY COMPONENT TO THE CASE. HE SAYS HE HAS LETTERS FROM HER AS WELL. YOU NEED TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN ON TV BEFORE, I TRUST YOU WILL DO A FINE JOB, COOPER!" Both Cooper and the whole sheriffs ' department understood the importance of this task.

"THANKS FOR CLARIFYING THAT FOR ME, GORDON. "

"NO PROBLEM. LISTEN, I GOTTA RUN. OH BEFORE I FORGET, STEVE WILL BE COMING TO TWIN PEAKS TOMORROW. SORRY TO SPRING THAT ON YOU!" Gordon said as he left the sheriffs office.

"ITS FINE, OFFICER GORDON. THANK YOU!" Cooper shouted out the front door as Gordon got into his car and drove away.

"Well, Coop. What do you think you are going to do." Harry asked his troubled friend. Cooper sighed.

"I don't...know."

"Look, I know this is a lot for you to take. You can leave early today. " Harry proposed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we'll be fine here. Just take a load off for a while." Cooper took Harry's advice and went back to the Great Northern to lay down in his room but there was a unpleasant surprise waiting for him! It was Steve and his dog Blue. "I take it your Agent Cooper?" The man said in his Green striped shirt and khakis.

"I am, I thought you were suppose to arrive yesterday?" Cooper questioned

"We were, but our flight got here early. I hope it isn't a bother."

"Its fine. Do you two have a room checked out?"

"Ahh, Didn't they tell you? We have to room with you."

"Oh, Well I only have one bed..."

"That doesn't bother me." Steve made this remark, which made Cooper a bit anxious, he hadn't slept next to someone since Caroline, but he had to do what he had to do.

"Where will your dog sleep?"

"Oh Blue, she can sleep wherever. Isn't that right Blue?"

"Bow-Bow!" Blue said. Cooper was very uncomfortable by all of this, and Steve could see it in his Coffee brown eyes.

"Are you sure your okay with all of this? We can get a different room if is bugs you." Steve suggested, but Cooper couldn't say no for some reason. As uncomfortable as it made him, he just couldn't reject his boy-ish face

"Its fine, we should head to the room and figure everything out." Cooper said as the three of them went to his room and shut the door. As soon as the door slammed shut, Steve pulled Cooper in,by his tie, for a wet kiss. Cooper began removing his clothes, first his jacket, then his tie, shirt and finally , his pants. Cooper got on his knees and and unlooped his belt and yanked down his khakis to reveal his 8inch cock. Cooper wrapped his lips around Steve's massive member. Steve began to moan and started to cum in Coopers mouth. Cooper didn't mind that all the much and ingested Steve's warm seed. Cooper removed his mouth from Steve's cock and the two went to the bed. Cooper took the sheets off the bed and tied Steve face down to the bed frame. "I hope your ass is use to this, for my penis is 10 inches long." Cooper said as a sort of warning.

"Don't worry, just do it." Steve commanded, and Cooper did as he was told. He slid his penis into Steve's firm coinslot. Steve wasn't used to the size of Cooper's penis and it did hurt a little, but Steve was enjoying everything about it, even the pain. Cooper placed his hands on Steve's back and gave him all of his love, pain and suffering. Steve's low moan began to get louder and louder as Cooper huffed and puffed and rammed his manhood into Steve's tender backside. Cooper began to kiss Steve's back and up to his neck, where he started to bite. Cooper bit so hard that it drew blood, he instantly lapped up the blood. Steve came due to the pain. Cooper pulled out and jizzed on Steve's back. Steve then rolled on his back and said

"You come here, you've been a bad boy and need a punishment." Steve then pulled out his handy-dandy spiral notebook with his green crayon. He took the green crayon and shoved it in Cooper's ass and it made Cooper as stiff as concrete. He let out a sharp moan. Steve took out the crayon and threw it on the floor, where Blue began to lick the anal crayon. Steve was about to give attention to Cooper's pink microphone but there was a knock at the door. Cooper was alerted by this and grabbed his robe. He tied it and answered the door, it was Harry and he was drunk.

"Cooper, your one fine piece of mannnn and I-"

"Harry, your drunk. Maybe you should come in." Cooper asked. He was worried for his friend. Just as Cooper said that, Harry leaned in and gave him a kiss that tasted of sweet bourbon.

"Coop are you al-" Steve asked and saw Harry all over Cooper and was both jealous and turned on by this. "Cooper! I thought you loved me!" Steve yelled. Cooper pushed Harry away and said "Steve! Its not what you think! Hes drunk." Cooper began to make his case but Harry interrupted with "Hey now, no neeeeeeeeed to fight, theres enough Harry Truman to go around!" Steve replied with

"Two is a party but three is a riot." Cooper started to laugh, "I'll say," Harry got undressed in a blink of an eye and was ready and able to penetrate Cooper. Before Harry did this, Steve sang a little song.

"We just got a boner, we just got a boner, we just got a boner! I wonder who its for?" Both Cooper and Harry began to laugh, they realized how kookie Steve really was. They were turned on by this though. Harry was behind Cooper who was behind Steve and they moved in pleasure unison. They all reached their climaxes and Santorum was everything. But before they could do anything, they blacked out and woke up in a room that was surrounded by red curtains and three black chairs. The nude Cooper said "I know where we are...We are in the-the- BLACK LODGE!" His voice echoed. Steve and Harry didn't know what to say or how to process this.

"Ahh, Cooper, what is the Black Lodge." Steve asked

"To put it simply, its where evil spirits dwell." Cooper replied.

"Oh, should we take a seat?"

"Well, we are all naked, but I don't think anyone will mind." Cooper took his seat. Steve and Harry sat on chairs adjacent to Cooper. The man from another place appeared with Blue. Though this wasn't the Blue we know and love, no this Blue was more empty and her eyes where white. The man from another place began to talk in a distorted tone "Would you like a Rolo?" Blue commented with "Bow, bow bow bah bow!"

"BLUE! What have they done to her?" Steve asked frantically

"It looks like BOB got a hold of her soul." Cooper replied.

"Who's BOB?"

"He's BOB" Cooper pointed to BOB who looked like a washed out grunge rocker but with more of a serial killer vibe to him.

"YOU THREE!" BOB commanded their attention "You will fuck for me or your souls will be mine!"

"We...better or elese we'll die like Laura!" Harry said. He was becoming more and more sober out of fear. Cooper's face went white as he got up from the chair and laid on the black and white floor. The man from another place gave Steve a thing of Rolos. He placed them on Cooper's nude body making a line of chocolate from his his chest and stopping at his genitals. Harry pushed Steve away from Cooper. "Hesss mine!"Harry began to eat the Rolos off of Cooper's chest and followed the line down to Cooper's man-rocket. Harry began sucking Cooper's pulsating large cock with his whiskey breath. Harry's thin, stern lips moved with finesse. The sweet hint of chocolate with the salty taste of Cooper's cum soothed Harry's desire. He had wanted to do this ever since he looked into Cooper's soft brown eyes and slicked back black hair. Cooper moaned passionately, he was very close to screaming because of Harry's talent. BOB looked on with intrigue and was masturbating furiously to the bromance he was watching.

As this was happening, Steve started to freak out and run around the room and soon the whole Black Lodge. Steve ran into Laura and Leland Palmer dancing the waltz. The two of them stop and said to Steve "Rolo, Rolo" Steve runs out of the room frantically but then trips. He looks up and its a mirror image of himself but Blue is beside him. "I'll see you in 25 years." Cooper, Harry and Steve black out and wake up in Cooper's Bed. Steve is fast asleep beside him. Harry is clothed and sober. "Oh I thought you'd never wake up."

"How's Steve?" Cooper asks automatically.

"He's beside you and he's fine."

"I need to go brush my teeth..." Cooper gets up and goes to the bathroom. He looks in the mirror and sees instead of his reflection, a giant Rolo. He smashes his head into the mirror and begins to repeat "How's Steve?" How's Steve? How's Steve? How's Steve? How's Steve? How's Steve? How's Steve?


End file.
